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Pregnancy and Life Challenges

Mommy bloggers. Heard the term? Funny how it's legit and a big deal nowadays. But that's definitely what I'd call myself I guess, a mommy who blogs. A mommy-blogger. Although if you're new around here you might be thinking: uh, okay. but mostly you just post crafty/art stuff. And yep you'd be right.  And that's how I like it. If you read my about page, you'd find that, when i started out, it was important for me to separate my family blog and my "hobby" blog. As I've grown and now have two - almost three - littles around me daily, I find it harder to not post things about them on here. Sharing our more routine and daily family moments. Especially because I love following and drawing strength from all the other moms out there. I've gained new friends from this online social world, that I wouldn't have made any other way. And I think that's pretty cool. I seriously love my - haha i don't even know what to call them - social friends!

Today I wanted to take a step to open up to you a bit more. Show you all a little more personal side of me....man even writing that kinda freaks me out. As a young mom who is in the throes of "adulting" and "mommyhood", my life right now consists of play times, nap times, temper tantrums, punishments and rewards, discipline galore, and yes - wait for it - many golden happy moments that make all the tears and meltdowns bearable. Dare I say even insignificant? Funny how my little monsters can do that to me.

When I found out I was expecting my third I was pumped. Excited and "ready" and I couldn't wait to find out the gender...just like any other expectant mother. I've always wanted a big family. Maybe because my husband had 10 kids in his, and I had 6? Who knows. However, when we went in for the 20 week gender reveal/anatomy scan, we found out this sweet little baby girl (yep another girl! woo!) had some problems.  In a nutshell, she has what's called Pulmonary Agenesis. Meaning she has only one lung (i mentioned briefly here).  Due to this abnormality, and a few other sad issues we've found with her little body, we aren't sure what the future holds for her or us. We've had multiple visits and appointments with specialists and doctors down in Utah (The University of Utah and Primary Children's), which is where I will be delivering. You can read more about our journey thus far with her here.

Sometimes life hands us lemons....and sometimes I want to stomp on them and squish them in anger and throw them right back. My first two pregnancies were the most boring/easy/non-problematic things, and Bronx(4) and Tinley(2) are totally healthy. Pregnancy number three has rocked me. One of the hardest things for me right now, is looking at baby clothes. I have a month left (I get induced on November 3rd!), and have finally started feeling that urgent need to GET ALL THE THINGS DONE! Which isn't a bad thing. It's actually good for me to be keeping busy. It takes my mind off of the sad and unknown of what's to come.

I know that we all have different trials and life challenges. And I know we all process them slightly differently. And honestly, when I step back and look at this current situation my husband and I are dealing with, I start feeling guilty. I feel guilty because I have cousins and friends who have and are going through what seem like even harder situations. Like not being able to get pregnant. And I feel so ungrateful. But I know I can't compare like that...it's not healthy for anyone to do that! I guess I just wish I could hug all you mommys out there and want-to-be mommys, who are struggling with your own battles every day. I wish I could just invite you over to hang out and talk about everything you are feeling and we could laugh and cry together.

I came across this quote the other day and it now stands as my new favorite.

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